Marriage is more than a commitment between two people to share each other's lives for a lifetime - it goes much deeper, including (usually) the start a family that eventually has children. As any married couple can tell you, having a child changes everything and involves much more than merely taking care of a baby (as challenging as that is) - it also includes a recognition that your child is a future adult who requires your help progressively becoming a mature, productive member of society. Difficult ChoicesRaising your kids properly is a full time job, as any parent can attest. They implicitly look to mom and dad as role models, and because of that, parents should project and teach good values, installing in their children from the beginning the traits they want them to emulate. Because raising children can be an all-encompassing parental experience, many people find themselves in the awkward position of deciding whether to be primarily focused on raising their kids or the health of their marriage. Those who opt for the former frequently find their marital relationship faltering because it was put on the back-burner. Fortunately, this doesn't need to be an either/or scenario. Protect Your FoundationWhile it is not uncommon that focusing on a child can become an overwhelming priority in a new parent's life, it is imperative that a couple remember the foundation of their family is not really parenting skills, but instead the health of their marriage. Parents, especially first-time parents, often feel as though they need to commit almost every waking moment glued to their children's sides - that if they aren't around, something awful may happen. This just isn't so. Learn to TrustIn a marriage - and perhaps more so when children enter the picture - trust for one another is imperative. Additionally, this issue of trust can also be of great benefit with other extended family members and friends who can to help them in raising their children. Doing so offers the kids proper socialization experiences and permits new parents time to spend alone with each other. Quality time for parents - meaning "alone time" - is imperative to help ensure the relationship withstands the many stresses that go hand-in-hand with parenthood. Don't ever let anyone convince you that quality and quantity time together isn't vital to the health of your marriage. Au contraire! It's not at all unusual that when new parents aren't able to (or simply won't) invest quality time into one another, they lose hold of the relationship entirely - often resulting in divorce. Problems Starting a FamilySometimes, couples find themselves unable to have children due to unanticipated biological issues. This kind of disappointment can weigh heavily on a relationship, being both painful and simply difficult to accept. The stress that can accompany the inability to bear children of their own may sometimes negatively influence the relationship rather than drawing a couple closer. child marriage So if having children is very important to your life plan, discuss the prospect of unexpected difficulties doing so prior to marriage. There are fulfilling alternatives to having biological children, including adoption.
08/05/2011
